Lots is going on in our lives.  Sports, high school, middle school, two teenagers, impending license, impending child support county services issues and now an adult tantrum.  Are you kidding me?  Yes, there are so many things to be thankful for; I have a roof, food, friends, dogs and cats I can care for, I'm healthy but seriously, to throw a tantrum because the Internet didn't work for you in the wake of a conversation you didn't like?  Grow up.

Your friend is having trouble with his fiance, soon to be second wife.  He comes to me.  I'm honest but not brutal.  It's HARD.  Even if you have a "good" bio mom, it is still hard.  When they are bitter, harder.  When they are angry, even harder.  When they are miserable, watch your back.  Every step my now husband and I made in our relationship triggered an issue with little miss Scarlett.  When she became aware of me, lawsuit for money and sole physical and legal custody.  When we got engaged, lawsuits for money on my birthday (this continued for many years).  Our wedding?  She threatened to go to court to disallow the children to go because SHE didn't like the timing.  I was honest as to what could happen, not what HIS ex would do.

Apparently this struck a cord for my husband or something has been going on that I am not aware of because tonight has been totally out of control.  He couldn't order an iPhone for his daughter so being snippy and curt with me seemed to be the answer.   I didn't come running like the bitch I'm not so that was a problem too.  Whenever I'm not exactly what he wants, its a problem, especially after a few beers.  I'm not calling him a violent drunk because physically he isn't.  Certainly he likes to raise his voice as it must be a means in another realm of his life where he gets his way.  I'm really tired of it.  I spent the first half of my life getting yelled at, I certainly don't need it now.

It really is painful to know that he thinks saying what he says the way he says it is okay.  It isn't and he damages our relationship more than he knows when he does it.  Maybe he should think about that some before he decides I'm an ass because the Internet isn't working the way he wants.

Really? Resorting to the Welfare Office?

While I was away on an adventure, I receive a worried call from my husband.  Scarlett the great has served him yet again.  That is not the disturbing part even though they have been apart for about 10 years.  What IS disturbing is that this was not done through her lawyer but through County Child Services, Child Support Division.  Excuse me?  As is standard in our state, her $3,000/month of Child Support as awarded via court order according to the formula used in our state is garnished from my husbands wages each paycheck by the very agency with which she recently filed.  We are not behind, we do not have nor owe arrears.  The division she filed with does not deal in custody or modification but with making sure the monies are paid.  So what the hell is going on here?

One set of documents we received let us know she filed a complaint for review.  The next set has a quarter inch thick of paperwork for my husband to fill out stating that for the past 12 months he was supposed to pay X amount and he actually paid X amount.  Same for visitation.  Seriously, visitation?  We have 50/50.  Even when it isn't "our time" we go to back to school nights, meetings, sporting events and whatever else there is which is not true for Scarlett holier than thou.  Somehow my husband has to prove he spends time with his kids.  His lawyer is hardly any help in this arena.  If he can't win for sure he doesn't fight.  Good strategy.  The third set of documents included a threat to report the "debt" of child support to the credit agencies.  If he isn't behind, where is this debt to be reported?  Nice system.

Then there is Scarlett the great herself - dodging calls, texts and emails because she won't just state her purpose.  Why the fight?  Do you want him that bad?  Do you want us to fight?  What is it you are really after?  You went to the WELFARE division of the state.  There are TWO new cars in your driveway, a third SUV, Jetskis (plural) not to mention the numerous vacations you take.  You make almost twice what a teacher makes and your husband makes at least three times what you do plus your free $3k in child support.  So, tell me why you went the welfare route??  Would your lawyer not take it?  Pathetic really.  It's sad and really sad for the children who learn from her.

So I am left holding the proverbial bag.  Dealing with kids who are entitled, spoiled and treat their father like shit because they listen to their mother spew her Parental Alienation all over, and in front of people I am friends with, letting the kids know they can use him as a back and taxi.  There are days like today when it just isn't right and I won't do it.  I will interact as little as possible because although I am one of the "smartest people" he's ever met, my opinion when it comes to this doesn't mean shit.  He thinks his lawyer knows all and that I can't possibly be right because I don't wear rose colored fucking glasses.

Wake up.  It needs to get nasty for it to stop.  You need to actually LAY the law down with her and your children instead of talking about it.  It's old.  I'm getting too tired.  There really is a point when it is all too much.