Husband of a Next Wife?

Huge tip coming your way - stop babying and taking care of your ex-wife if you want to have a true relationship with your current wife.  Making sure she does what she should damn well know to do already is still taking care of her.  Try focusing on what is going on in your own house.

Shoot me now - happy chiristmas

It's November and the Holidays are coming and there is nothing I can do to stop them.  This is probably my most stressful time of year.  Plans are already being made for family and travel starting in two weeks and running for the next month and a half.  There are people I want to see, people I have to see, people I'm obligated to visit and people I just plain have to deal with during this "season of cheer".

Purchasing gifts for people who could care less?  Every year.  Spending too much on them?  Absolutely.  But that isn't what bothers me.  It's the fact that even as a kid, I could have throw Xmas out the door and not cared less.  It was only a time of stress, being shuffled around and being reminded that my holiday life wasn't like all the other kids.  Every year for every major holiday (Nov/DEC) I was shipped back and forth about three hours to spend time with my non-custodial parent with whom I did not get along after about age 12, two years after they left.  I didn't want to go, I had to.  Then when I got older I had to go because my younger sibling wanted to go and couldn't go alone.  Even older - I had to DRIVE there.  Yay.

Even now as an adult, the holidays are not much different.  I'm evil if I don't see certain relatives first or at all regardless of spending time with my own family.  Even Christmas day is a tug of war on me between the factions of my family, immediate and extended.  Really?  There is a great reason I shouldn't be in my own house for all of Christmas day? Ugh.  The people around me seem to think so and lay on guilt, go behind my back and complain (of course I hear about it) and even go so far as to tell kids involved I don't have time for them.  While I know I can't control it, it kills me.

Then there is my immediate family with whom I live. My husband loves Christmas like crazy, can't even begin to comprehend that it was never a happy time for me and I could do without it.  He tries to force me to like it/participate fully in the festivities like picking out a tree.  Honestly, I could give a shit.  I don't care about the tree, I don't care about the holiday unless I'm going to church and not the overly hyped Midnight Mass - the real Christmas Mass.  It really just isn't my thing, never will be.  It would just be nice if for one year I wouldn't be forced to do a bunch of crap I hate doing, be left to do my own travel planning of when it works for me to go places and have a generally happy holiday season.